A Feeling
by SailorKMoonie
Summary: SusxCasp. A one-shot about the pain Caspian and Susan go through after their seperation and how they're given a second chance at love. AU


Okay, Narnia fans. I, like many others, fell in love with CaspianxSusan as I watched the movie. And I was all depressed after I saw the movie because for those of us who have read the books, know that Susan, REALLY never returns to Narnia, like the rest of them do. A HUGE tragedy in my opinion. I secretly think C.S. Lewis was a tiny bit sexist. The whole Adam/Eve thing. Anyway, so after reading a few other Suspian (we need to come up with a better name) fics. I decided to write my own short one….at least it should be fairly short. I hope you enjoy. It starts right after the kiss. starts to cry

This is of course AU/ Movieverse

Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Prince Caspian and all its characters and places.

A Feeling

Susan reluctantly pulled away from Caspian; leaving a part of her heart behind with him. They looked at each other again, blue eyes clashed with brown. Though both could see the pain in each others eyes, they still knew that Susan had to leave and Caspian had to stay in Narnia. It must be so. Before Susan could change her mind, she turned from him and walked through the portal. She arrived into the mortal world, tears streaming down her cheeks. Caspian gazed at the portal, long after he knew she was gone; letting only a single tear trail down his face. Neither had even said good-bye.

_London_

Susan sat at her desk staring out the window. At first glance, her expression held no emotion. But if it had been Peter, Edmund or Lucy looking at her, they would notice the touch of sadness in her eyes. The day was cloudy as it always was in England. The other students were vapidly taking notes on England's history. Susan laughed at the dullness of the subject, thinking Narnia's history was much more interesting.

Ever since they returned from Narnia, which had been a week ago, Susan had acted as if nothing had changed. As if they were still just kids at school. "This is our world." She told her brothers and sister. "This is where we are meant to be." But the other Pevensie children knew that something was still wrong. Although she smiled and laughed, the emotion never reached her eyes. She never got angry, never scolded anymore. She only did what was asked of her; nothing more. They all knew a piece of her soul had been left in Narnia with a certain King, and she was having trouble getting used to the fact she would never see him again.

She had only known Caspian for a month, she told herself. But in that month, she had looked at him like she had at no one from her world. She had trusted him and fell in, what could be, love with him. There was no other for her. But every time her heart yearned for his strong arms and sure voice, she reminded herself that she could never return to Narnia. She had learned all that she needed according to Aslan. '_Maybe that's the problem_' she thought that day in class. '_I did learn something. I learned to love_.' Only Lucy had somewhat understood Susan's pain.

One evening when Susan was staring out the window, as she often did. Lucy knocked on the door. "Susan?" she called.

Quickly wrenched away from her thoughts of her fingers running through his soft, dark brown hair; Susan turned toward the door. "Yes Lu?'

Lucy quietly entered and shut the door behind her. The serious expression on her face made Susan worry. "Is something wrong?" the older sister asked

She shook her head. "Not with me. I wanted to talk to you about him."

Without even saying his name, Susan knew who she was referring to and averted her eyes.

Before Susan could avoid the subject, Lucy pressed on. "It's okay to miss him Susan. We all do. And while I think it can't compare to what you're going through. I remember after leaving Narnia the first time, how much I missed Mr. Tumnus." A flicker of sadness flashed across her face, before continuing on. "He was my greatest friend in the entire world, and I would give anything to see him again. But I trusted in Aslan and I still do, that one day things will be alright and we'll all be together again." She smiled up to her sister in confidence. Lucy was always the faithful one of the four. Through the first year after their return, Lucy had been the one who had always believed that one day Aslan would call them back to their beloved kingdom. And even when the answer was altered, learning that the ones Lucy had been looking forward to seeing again, were long dead; Lucy still believed in their purpose and in Aslan.

A small hope filled Susan at the prospect of seeing Narnia again and being in Caspian's warm embrace for the rest of eternity. This thought only made her want to see him that much sooner. "Thanks Lu. I hope that day comes, when we'll all be together and happy." She hugged her sister. They both cried a few tears for their lost ones. Susan leaned away and wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry about Mr. Tumnus. He was a good friend to us all and I miss him too."

Lucy smiled sadly as she also wiped her tears away. "We'll be together soon." She repeated soundly.

As Susan looked at her optimistic sister, she saw a light that she could never hold; an innocence that flowed out from her. Susan smiled sadly to her. "I hope that the man you love will not be so hard to find and that you can both live together in peace always." A new wave of tears threatened to over flow her eyes before she choked them back. She needed to be strong.

Lucy rubbed her sister's arm in comfort before walking quietly out of the room; only pausing to give one last look at Susan. And in that look, Susan glimpsed the sadness that Lucy felt over leaving Narnia, not once but twice. And Susan knew that Lucy, although forgiving, missed Narnia with a great passion. '_Maybe that's what kept her faith going._' Susan thought. As long as she had faith, there was still a chance they could one day return.

Now as she sat in the classroom, she thought back to the day she had left Caspian, standing there gazing at her. His words; wishing they had more time for each other. And then his expression, after their kiss, forever imprinted in her memory, his face had gone from elation at her feelings for him, to deep pain at the knowledge of her departure. She even remembered the glimmer of hope in his eyes that knew he would see her again; the hopes that he would be able to hold her in her arms and kiss her again, never to let go.

She didn't regret kissing him. For in that kiss she realized that not only did she love him with all her being, but he loved her back. She could feel it in the gentle way he held her and the soft but trusting gaze he had only for her. Then, there was the other part of her that wished that she hadn't kissed him. Then maybe she could have forgotten about him. _But, then again, maybe not_. She couldn't forget the way his eyes changed when he looked at her. The way he fought with all his heart and never gave up; the way he had protected her, Peter, Edmund, Lucy and the Narnians. Susan knew that she could never forget the courageous and kind man she left behind in that world. And that thought alone filled her with so much pain that she quickly excused herself and ran out of school to the train station and then home. The former Queen of Narnia threw herself upon her bed and sobbed until sleep overcame her.

_Narnia_

Standing on a small balcony in pants and loose white shirt, Caspian was also thinking of impossible wishes. The stars shone above him in splendor. But as he gazed at them, he would have given them all up for a chance to see his brown haired heroine again. All year long his mind had been filled with the image of her as he had remembered her. First in the forest dashing toward her brother, then at the battle when she had fought as bravely and as fiercely as her brothers, to the last moments when he held her in his arms and kissed her. Her eyes that had held such wisdom, bravery, love and sadness stuck out in his memory most. 'She was so beautiful' he thought to himself.

The newly appointed King wondered why Susan and he had been brought together, only to have been separated just as they had discovered their love for one another. It angered him to know that such a thing was allowed in the world. But he kept faith that one day he and Susan would be reunited. He would be able to once again feel his lips against hers and run his fingers through her long curly hair. Such thoughts gave him joy as well as pain.

Their last moments together had been the strongest imprint on him; bringing him the most pain as well as the most happiness. So for the time being, he held those memories close to him and hoped for a better future, one which he could finally be with the woman he had fallen in love with.

He turned from the night stars and went back to his chambers. His sword, once High King Peter's, hung on the wall with a portrait of the five of them, standing together with Aslan in front of the portal. An artistically blessed faun had painted it for the King as a present, going from memory of the Pevensies and Aslan. Caspian thought the resemblance was uncanny and had thanked the faun in-numerable times for the gift. Now as he gazed at the faces of his comrades, the painting only reminded him of his loneliness. His fingers gently swept over the canvas that was Susan's face. She wore the white and blue gown he had given to her. He himself had chosen the fabric, knowing it would bring out her eyes. Her elated expression as she opened the box was enough of thanks for the man.

Slowly he withdrew from the painting and returned to bed. Sunrise was in a few hours and he had a council meeting to attend. Heaving a great sigh, he drew the cold covers around him and drifted to sleep, thinking of his love and her striking blue eyes.

* * *

Queen Susan walked through the halls of Cair Paravel. She was dressed in the gown Caspian has bestowed her with. Her fingertips brushed along the smooth pillars and tapestries that hung down the length of the hall. It was the Cair Paravel of her past. Tears began to wash down her cheeks as she felt the joy of homecoming well up inside her. The warmth of a comfortable and safe environment surrounded her. Memories of running through halls and retelling stories by the fire with Peter and Edmund; long and tiresome meetings over laws, and the nights of whispers and giggles with Lucy filled her eyes with tears.

A deep desire to stay in the dream overcame the Queen of old. Susan knew that this vision was a dream and would only last as long as she slept. A selfish thought dashed through her mind of staying asleep forever so that she could live in this memory. But as she looked around the castle, she began to notice that there was no one else; not even animals graced the halls and courtyards. She searched through the rooms until she came upon the Throne Room.

She gasped. There, next to her throne, stood a figure in a dark green tunic and pants. His brown hair brushed his shoulders as he gazed around in wonder. But once he saw the vision in the doorway, all thoughts of Cair Paravel's wonder were forgotten. For a moment his heart clenched, knowing this dream would soon end as it always did. But something about this felt different than the other dreams. Caspian walked slowly toward her, still wary. Part of his heart was still gone with Susan and these painful ghosts haunted him while he lay awake those long nights alone. That hopeful part of him knew this was the real Susan Pevensie standing in front of him. Even though another part reminded him this was a dream. Caspian hastened toward the figure of Susan.

Susan herself was still denying the fact that he was coming toward her. The rational part of her mind was screaming at her; waiting for the torture to end. She had had many dreams before this one, but he had always been just a ghost that she could never touch or feel. The feel of his embrace never came. But now as he came toward her, there was a difference in him that she couldn't quite place. She closed her eyes to the illusion hoping that the figure would be gone and she could go on as she had before.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Her eyes opened to see hazel eyes that radiated joy, pain, bravery. They were the eyes of the man she loved, and no dream of hers could reproduce that. She grinned and jumped into his arms. Immediately she felt the warmth of his embrace encompass her. Her chest filled with happiness and elation at finally reuniting with the other half of her heart. Her hands and cheek could feel the velvet of his clothes and the muscles that clenched her to him. She leaned back to look into those glorious eyes again, but as she did, Caspian closed his and began to kiss away her tears from her cheeks. She smiled at the feel of his lips on her skin. Slowly he moved towards her lips and as they connected, both Susan and Caspian felt a completion within each other. Together their hearts were complete and even though this was only a dream, both Caspian and Susan couldn't let go of the hope that they could just stay like this for the rest of time, wrapped in each others embrace.

Suddenly a small sound made them both turn back toward the thrones of Cair Paravel. They still clung to each other. Neither could muster the strength to let go of the other.

There in the center of the platform, stood Aslan on all four paws, looking at them as if waiting for something. "Queen Susan, King Caspian, come forth. We have much to discuss"

Susan and Caspian looked at one another, realizing they had been brought together for an important reason. Holding hands they approached the Great Lion. "Yes, Aslan?" Susan said hesitantly

Aslan at first did not reply. He looked first at Caspian, then at Susan, and finally at their joined hands. "You both must make a decision. For each action has a reaction. I can allow the both of you to live together in one world. But it is up to you which world you both shall go to."

Susan looked at Caspian and he gazed at her. In that look she knew that he would have given up his kingdom for her in order to go to her world. But Narnia, she knew, could not do without Caspian. She thought of having to leave England; of leaving her mother, father, Peter, Edmund and Lucy, behind. Lucy, she thought. She remembered Lucy that day.

"One day we'll all be together again" the whisper of the memory finalized her decision.

Caspian looked into her eyes and saw the pain and joy in her decision. He smiled and squeezed her hand. "I will follow where you go, my queen."

Susan grinned up at him, and with tear glazed eyes turned back to Aslan. "I belong in Narnia, Aslan, with the one that I love."

With a laugh of mirth, Caspian grabbed her waist and lifted her from her feet. He twirled in a circle before setting her back down and placing a kiss on her lips. "We belong in Narnia, together."

Aslan smiled in response. Their love for each other was pure and he was glad for their happiness. "You have learned all I have to teach you both. I wish you and your children all the joy in the world." With this being said he opened his mouth and blew out a long, warm breath onto their faces. Cair Paravel melted into Prince Caspian's chambers at the castle. Still in disbelief at the events that had finally brought them together, they both gazed at each other. Susan started to laugh. "This is real."

Caspian nodded and smiled. "Yes, my queen."

She wrapped her arms around his waist. "Do you think we did the right thing?" she asked, leaning her head on his chest.

As he put his arms around her, there wasn't a doubt in his mind. "Yes, we belong here in Narnia," he paused as he tilted her chin up with the side of his index finger. He gazed deep into her eyes and saw the love and joy shining through them "together." With that final word, he passionately kissed her, with all the pent up feelings he'd kept over the year.

They both rejoiced in the warmth of one another, knowing this was the feeling they had yearned for; the feeling of oneness and being in each others arms.

Epilogue

Susan never returned to England. Peter, Edmund and Lucy were all saddened by the loss of their sister, but were comforted by the fact that she was happier with Caspian. Lucy herself remained faithful that they would once again meet, when everything was over. Susan's mother and father were devastated, and the children knew that if they were told the truth, their parents would think them insane. All they could say was that Susan had left and possibly was with Professor Kirke.

Susan's and Caspian's decision had only changed Narnia's future by the smallest figure. Caspian himself never went on the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, instead his son, Caspian XI went on the voyage and met Lucy, Edmund and Eustace. Together they had the adventure of the high sea. While Caspian lived out his days with Susan by his side, together they had 2 other boys and a girl.

Eventually they passed on the crown to Caspian XI and his wife. And together they died in their sleep peacefully. When Narnia's ending came, and everyone walking through the arches, Peter, Edmund and Lucy were overjoyed to see Susan and Caspian walk through the doorway. Susan was the woman that had left Narnia the first time and Caspian looked only slightly older than the Pevensies remembered him. Together they all walked on into the promised land of New Narnia. Lucy took hold of Susan's hand. And Susan turned to the young woman that was her little sister. "How did you know Lu?" Susan asked "You were right, we all did come back to be together."

Lucy smiled. "Just a feeling"

The End

sigh Yes! I got it out! Now I have to go do Econ homework. Anyway I hope you liked it. I know it's not much plot wise, but it was just something I had to do. Oh I recommend listening to the song The Call by Regina Spektor. It was playing during the end of the movie and helped me write the story. I tried fitting it into the fic, but it didn't quite fit the writing, so I dropped it. But I still love the song.


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